Burning coals

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you. Proverbs 25:21-22

I think it was the poet Philip Larkin who said, “Enemies! I don’t have enemies. I just have friends who don’t like me”.

Very witty. But I suppose none of us like the idea of having enemies. The fact, though, is that we all do, across a wide spectrum from out-and-out animosity, even hatred, to vague dislike. A friend once said to me, “There are people out there who would kill me if they could get hold of me”, and he wasn’t joking or exaggerating. For a time, prison – where, he admitted, he deserved to be – was the safest place for him.

How we think about people who we might describe as enemies – even more, how we should act towards them – is a question the Bible tackles in various places. Supremely, we have the plain words of Jesus, “Love your enemies” (Matthew 5:44). But Jesus was drawing on a strand of Old Testament teaching which surfaces particularly in the Book of Proverbs.

In Proverbs 25:21 the writer spells out the basic principle of paying back good for evil. If your enemy is hungry or thirsty, well, give him food and drink. Simple!

But the next verse is quite puzzling: “In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head…”. Mmm… I’m not sure I quite like the sound of that! In Psalm 140:10 much the same image is used to describe God’s punishment of the wicked, and Jesus too used fire as a metaphor for the same thing (Matthew 13:47-50). But the writer of Proverbs is obviously talking about this as an act of kindness and forgiveness.

In the New Testament Paul confirms this by quoting this very verse and then adding the words: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:20-21).

We are reminded, as so often, that the Bible as a whole is rich in figures of speech, metaphors, colourful and dramatic ways of getting its message across. But when it comes to tipping hot coals on your enemy’s head as a gesture of love and reconciliation – well, where does that come from!

Nobody seems to know for absolute sure, but the most likely meaning is that to respond to animosity with love and forgiveness is to engender a sense of shame in your enemy. As one commentator neatly puts it, “The coals of fire represent the pangs which are far better felt now as shame than later as punishment”. Probably all of us have sometimes said – or thought – “I ended up just burning with shame!”.

Or it could refer to an ancient custom. Another commentator writes that this saying “may reflect an Egyptian ritual practice in which a brazier of burning charcoal was held on the head as a sign of shame and remorse”. Possible, I suppose – though a little difficult to imagine!

I don’t think we need worry too much about where the saying came from: the meaning is pretty clear, and so also is its application to all of us. Not, of course, that we should deliberately set out to humiliate someone who has done us wrong. Far better to simply act kindly and leave it to God to bring about that inner burning. I can think of many times when people have simply ignored my stupidity, selfishness or wrong-doing, acted as if it had never happened, and left it to the Holy Spirit to challenge my inner self. How thankful I have been to them.

Many of us live in a culture where feelings of shame are seen simply as a sign of weakness: “Never apologise!” we are told. Certainly, there are people who lack self-confidence so much that they allow themselves sometimes to be unnecessarily crushed; and that’s sad. But for many of us shame is a sign of wisdom and honesty.

Various historic writers, not necessarily Christians, have written words of wisdom on the subject…

He that has no shame has no conscience. Thomas Fuller (1608-1661), Anglican scholar and preacher.

Where there is yet shame, there may in time be virtue. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), writer and lexicographer.

I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), writer and cleric.

It is a shame to be shameless. Augustine, Bishop of Hippo, north Africa (354-430).

And let’s never forget the old truism: “the  best way to get rid of an enemy is to turn them into a friend” (I like that!).

Perhaps the best way to finish is to repeat the words of Paul: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good”.

Still more, the words of Jesus: “Love your enemies”.

Father, thank you for those people in my life who have poured burning coals on my head, and then left it to the Holy Spirit to stir up in me a sense of shame. Help me to do the same for others, never nursing a grudge or seeking revenge but delighting in their repentance. Amen.