When you're all alone

At my first defence, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them.  But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen. 2 Timothy 4:16-18

In the last three blogs I have been working through 2 Timothy 4, from verse 6. My thought has been that sometimes, reading Paul, he can seem a little intimidating, a little “heavy” perhaps, so it’s good to see a more human, vulnerable, Paul as he writes this letter to his protégé Timothy.

Last time we saw his remarks about Alexander the metalworker “who did me a great deal of harm” (verses 14-15). This is to fore-arm Timothy about the influence of this man, whoever he may have been. We reflected on the fact that there will always be divisions and trouble-makers in the church, so we should be on our guard and seek to handle such situations in a Christlike manner.

(I have been struck, by the way, by the unusually high number of hits I have received following that last blog! – it would seem that I struck a sensitive chord. Which is, perhaps, slightly troubling...?)

In verses 16-18 Paul continues this theme as he recalls the occasion of an earlier court hearing (“my first defence”) when “no-one came to my support, but everyone deserted me”.

It’s a touching picture – Paul, now in old age, in some kind of cell and then in a court of law, with not a friendly face in sight. As someone who has hardly ever felt lonely (just once sticks in my mind, abroad in my student days, when something went wrong and I could have wept for want of someone I knew to talk to), I can only imagine Paul’s feeling of utter desolation and desertion.

Perhaps this picture of a lonely Paul can prompt us to keep our eyes open for “all the lonely people” – there are more of them about than we imagine.

As I read verse 16 I can’t help but compare Paul’s experience to that of Jesus himself – how, in the Garden of Gethsemane, “all the disciples deserted him and fled” (Matthew 26:56). When Jesus calls us to take up our cross in order to follow him, he is being deadly serious. Lord, give us strength…

What else can we glean from these three verses...?

First, Paul refuses to feel self-pitying or bitter.

True, “everyone deserted me”, he laments. But he immediately adds “May it not be held against them”.

He has surely learned this lesson from Jesus himself who, on the cross, prayed for those crucifying him: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). And, of course, he was there when Stephen was stoned to death, and may well have heard his dying words: “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60).

Harbouring grudges is very natural to our sinful natures. But it is something we must learn to struggle against – to train ourselves in a “Leave it to God!” attitude, a kind of spiritual shoulder-shrugging.

Are any of us nursing bitterness against anyone? Remember the wise saying: “That’s like drinking poison - and expecting the other person to die”.

Second, Paul experiences God’s enabling.

True, his friends may have deserted him, but “the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength”.

This is often the testimony of Christians under persecution: that in desperate loneliness and isolation they feel a special sense of God’s presence. Perhaps their friends and colleagues couldn’t be with them physically - but you never know who is praying for you, do you?

For those of us not under persecution, Hebrews 13:3 is an absolute must: “”Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them…” And how better can we do that than by our faithful prayers?

Third, Paul sees his suffering as an opportunity.

Why did God give him that strength? So that “through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the gentiles hear it”.

It seems that his appearance in that dock gave him the chance to explain who he was and why he was there (the same thought is expressed in Philippians 1:12-14).

“Every problem is an opportunity in disguise”. How easy it is to trot that out as a glib platitude! But… it is true - if only we will face the problem with determined faith.

Fourth, Paul expresses his confidence for the ultimate future.

“The Lord will… bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom”. Such is his faith – and it reminds us that every Christian’s story has a happy ending! In 2 Corinthians 4:17 Paul asserts that our present troubles are “light and momentary” (oh for such faith!) and lead to “an eternal glory that far outweighs them all”.

No wonder he rounds off this section of his letter with “To him – the Lord - be glory for ever and ever. Amen”.

Amen, indeed.

Lord and Father, when the going is hard it’s easy to feel lonely, deserted and even abandoned and bitter. But thank you that you promise to be with us always, and that one day you will take us to glory. And thank you too for those, some I know and some I don’t, who loyally pray for me. Amen.