How welcoming is your church?

Practise hospitality.  Romans 12:13

There was a tiny country church which had a small but very faithful congregation; the regulars never missed turning up to worship. Jack in particular: he had been around longer than anyone could remember and was one of the leaders. If he wasn’t there you could be sure something had happened.

There was one exception to the general rule about numbers: harvest. This was the big event of the year. The whole village turned out, bearing with them their marrows and apples and cabbages and fancy loaves for the display. The place was always packed out - you could guarantee that.

Jack and a fellow church member were surveying the scene after the service one year when Jack’s friend commented, “Well, Jack, isn’t it great to see the place so full!” Jack thought for a moment, scratched his chin and replied “Ay, I suppose it is. But to be honest, I prefer it when it’s just us.”

I prefer it when it’s just us...

 

Now, for all I know, Jack was a good, kind man, and a sincere Christian too. But I’m afraid he had fallen into a mentality which is seriously wrong, and one he should have been ashamed of. The church had become, for him, a cosy club, a holy huddle, a clique. It had ceased to be a community eager to worship God and motivated by a heart for those who don’t yet know Christ.

Well, I doubt if most of us would express ourselves as bluntly as Jack, but - let’s make no mistake - that “just us” mentality can quietly, gradually, insidiously capture our minds too.

When Paul urged the Christians in Rome to “practise hospitality” he probably had in mind the hospitality of the home: we should be glad to welcome others into our homes. And this may well be a challenge some of us need to take from this verse today. Have you ever pondered the massive impact your hospitality could have on the lives of others? A welcoming home is a truly beautiful thing!

But I think the principle applies just as much to the church as a gathered community. We all like to think our churches are welcoming, but I wonder if that’s how it seems to the newcomer?

We were on holiday once when our two boys were still small, and wondered where we might go to worship on Sunday. We saw a poster or advert from one of the local churches declaring itself to be “your welcoming church”. Right, we thought, that’ll suit us just fine.

So we turned up on Sunday morning. And, beyond the formal handshake at the door, nobody spoke to us. Nobody. Oh yes, it was a busy, lively church. But nobody spoke to us. Nobody. Zilch.

Now, I’m quite sure that no-one in that church made a conscious decision, “Oh look, there’s a new family here this morning, but I’m certainly not going to speak to them.” Of course not. 

But (a) they were all busy talking to their friends, and (b) they probably made the unconscious assumption that somebody else would talk to us. 

Many, I suspect, were so preoccupied with what they were doing that they hardly even noticed us at all; we were just a vague presence in the corner of their eye. Perhaps on Wednesday morning the thought might have dawned, “Mmm, did I see some new people in church last Sunday?” We simply didn’t figure on their radar. Whatever, we went away feeling ignored, cold-shouldered.

Paul’s “practise hospitality” is three words in the Greek, and two of them are worth probing a little. Hospitality is literally “love for the outsider or foreigner”. And practise is literally “pursue”, with a sense of real purpose and definite intention. 

So those three words could very well be translated “Make a serious point of noticing and welcoming the outsider.”

So, what about it? Let me offer a practical suggestion... 

Close your eyes for two minutes and make a real effort of imagination to see your church through the eyes of the first-timer. What does that person see? A “just us” clique? Or an open, vibrant, truly loving community of the body of Christ?

Lord God, help me as an individual, and my church as a church, to practice truly Christlike hospitality. Amen.

God, you, and me

I rejoiced with those who said to me 'Let us go to the house of the Lord'.  Psalm 122:1

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing. Hebrews 10:25

I'm sure you will see the connection between these two verses. The Old Testament psalmist is excited - “I rejoiced!” - at the prospect of meeting with his fellow-Israelites to worship God; while whoever wrote the Letter to the Hebrews is worried about people who are getting out of the habit.

Red-hot enthusiasm: cold indifference... probably most of us are somewhere in the middle. On the one hand, the thought of going to church and attending other meetings is one we are quite happy with, but probably we don't actually "rejoice" over it. On the other hand, we wouldn't feel at all happy to drop out altogether. Worship and fellowship are part of the very fabric of our lives.

Fact: from the earliest times God has invited, and expected, his people to come together at regular intervals: Christianity is never, ever, just a solitary faith. We're in this together! None of this “I can worship God by walking in the country, or sitting in my bedroom or my back garden” nonsense!

But have you ever asked why it is that God wants us to meet together?

There are various reasons, but the most important is simply that we need special times to focus consciously on God, putting aside all the many things which normally clutter up our lives. Time to think, to pray, to worship, to absorb what God is saying to us - and then, of course, to head back into that busy world with our sleeves rolled up. (True worship is preparation more than escape.)

All right, you certainly can meet with God at home, or on that country walk, and so indeed you should. But it is never enough. God wants more for us: by being with others we gain encouragement through personal contact, we learn to love and care for one another, we develop in patience and Christlikeness, we grow through shouldering responsibility.

And coming together isn't just a matter for Sundays. Small-group fellowship at other times is one of the great joys of being a Christian. It amazes - and, indeed, troubles - me that there are genuine Christian people who never go along to a home-group or prayer-meeting. 

What good things they are missing! And how sad that they are denying their fellow-Christians the good things they themselves have to share! By getting together we are both a blessing to others and also blessed ourselves.

When it comes to "giving up meeting together", people (setting aside those who just don’t believe anyway and so have no reason to do so) usually put forward one main reason. You’ve probably heard it a thousand times: "I'm too busy... I just don’t have the time". 

This, frankly, is a cop-out. If we are too busy for God, then we are just plain too busy full stop, and it's time for a bit of reshuffling of our priorities.

Let's be honest, we aren't often too busy to make time for the things which are really important to us - even if it is only something as trivial as a favourite TV programme or a regular meal-time or making ourselves look nice in front of the mirror. The fact is that most of us have no problem at all in making time for what matters to us.

So if we don't make time to meet with God and our fellow-believers - well, that can only mean one thing: whatever we might say, God isn't really that important to us. Perhaps we need to come clean and face that fact and do some serious thinking.

Is this a word to you as you read this?

"Meeting together" is one of the main ways in which God makes known to us his love and grace. To neglect it is to sadden him, to imperil our own souls, and to impoverish our brothers and sisters in Christ.
 
Dear Father, forgive me that my heart is so lukewarm towards you, your word and your people. Send your Holy Spirit to set my heart on fire. And so may I, like the man in the psalm, know what it is to be excited to be in fellowship and worship with your people. Amen.

What steps should you take to reshuffle the priorities of your life and make room for what matters most?

The tears of Jesus

As Jesus approached Jerusalem and saw the city he wept over it... Luke 19:41

Jesus wept. John 11:35

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears... Hebrews 5:7

Do you cry easily?

We’re all different, aren’t we? I know somebody who was moved to tears by a Tom and Jerry cartoon (I kid you not). There are others who cry never or hardly at all. But certainly tears are a common experience and can be caused in all sorts of ways. No wonder the world has been called a “vale of tears”.

How wonderfully comforting, then, to know that Jesus, the very son of God, shed tears. That fact alone is enough to demonstrate his humanity - he is truly man as well as truly God. When he sees our tears it is not from a detached, aloof distance, but, as the hymn puts it, he “knows our every weakness” from his own personal experience.

Remember that Jesus is God in the flesh. Does the fact that he wept prompt you to rethink your view of who God is and what he is like? It should do!

But why exactly did Jesus weep? 

Well, the references at the start are the only ones the New Testament gives us, so we don’t have all that much to go on. But they’re worth looking at.

In Luke 19:41Jesus weeps over the city of Jerusalem. His earthly life is drawing to its close and he, King Jesus, is coming to his capital city - in order to die a cruel and humiliating death. He knows that he will be rejected and crucified.

And the reason he weeps is because of the tragic blindness and stubbornness of the people who will do this. He doesn’t weep because of what he himself is about to endure, or at the thought of this wonderful city and its temple being destroyed. No, he weeps because the Jewish people, the very people God chose to be his agents of peace and hope, have refused to see that he has come to bring them freedom and joy: “it is hidden from your eyes.”

And still he weeps today whenever a human heart refuses to recognise and trust him.

In John 11:35 he weeps at the tomb of his friend Lazarus. At first sight that seems rather puzzling - presumably he knew that he was about to bring him back to life, so why weep!

But if we read the whole passage we see that in fact his tears were a response to the tears of Mary and the other mourners. He wept because they were hopeless and despairing in the face of death.

Death is always an enemy - Paul calls it “the last enemy”. And we are bound to grieve when someone we love dies. Don’t overlook the fact that the first follower of Jesus that we read of dying, the martyr Stephen, was buried by “godly men” who “mourned deeply for him”. Oh yes, they grieved all right, and so should we. But the vital thing is that as Christians we do not mourn “as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13).

I have conducted many funerals, and experience suggests that there are few occasions more grim than when the hope of eternal life is absent. But a Christian funeral, where the great resurrection verses of the Bible are not only read but believed in - well, that’s a different matter altogether. Deep sadness, yes of course - but deep peace and hope as well.

Do you - do I - rejoice in the hope of eternal life?

Hebrews 5:7 is not linked with any particular event in Jesus’ life, though his wrestling in the Garden of Gethsemane comes very much to mind. Perhaps it serves simply to remind us that walking with God, while it is a great privilege and joy, can also be hard and painful. The way of Jesus, after all, is the way of the cross for us as well as for him.

Are you - am I? - prepared to share in his sufferings?

The tears of Jesus...! If you are tearful today may the thought of them bring you hope and comfort. He is with you in those tears.

And never forget those wonderful words near the end of the Bible: a day is coming for all who trust in Jesus when “God will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or crying or mourning or pain...” (Revelation 21:4).

Thank you, Father, for the tears of Jesus. Please comfort me when my tears flow, and please help me too, through Jesus crucified and risen, to bring comfort and hope to the sad and despairing. Amen.

Jesus and the children

Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Mark 10:14

I was eighteen and it was my last Sunday at my home church before I headed off for university. The minister had included me in the prayers and people were coming up to wish me well. 

An elderly lady came up to me. I have to admit that we young people didn’t always view the older people with very much respect - they were just, well, “the old people”, and they didn’t really figure in our thoughts at all. Except, perhaps, as figures of fun. Though I had been in the church since early childhood I didn’t even know her name.

But what she said left me feeling completely ashamed: “I’m so pleased for you, because I have been praying for you regularly ever since you were a little boy in the Sunday School.” 

She had been praying for me? That meant - she knew my name! It meant - she cared about me! Perhaps, of course, she made it her business to pray for every child in the church. But never mind! I would never see things in quite the same way again.

Jesus rebuked the disciples for trying to stop the children being brought to him. And he said a truly wonderful thing: “...the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

Children have always had a very important place among the Jews: they did in Jesus’ day, and they still do. They were loved and cherished. 

But (as far as I know; I’m open to correction, of course) nobody had ever said such a thing as this. This was to elevate them to a status which no other rabbi or teacher would have dreamed of. Children - who as yet knew next to nothing of the Law - were representative of those who entered the kingdom of God! Any adult who wished to enter that kingdom, must “become like a little child” (Matthew 18:3). Extraordinary.

There are other hints of Jesus’ love and respect for children. He uses their sing-song games as an illustration to his teaching (Matthew 11:16). He tells his disciples that “whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest (the greatest!) in the kingdom of heaven.” To welcome a child in his name is nothing less than to welcome him. 

We hear often of terrible things being done to children - abuse of various kinds, neglect, indoctrination with hateful teachings. All of which highlights how great is the responsibility of the Christian community to care deeply for children.

What might this mean for you and me?

You may say you are not in a position to minister directly to children; you just don’t have the gifts. Fair enough. But how about taking a leaf out of that old lady’s book? Why not learn the names of the children in your  church and make it your business to pray for them regularly? How about offering support work for messy church, holiday clubs and other activities? (And perhaps in fact you do have the gifts to be a teacher! Are you prepared at least to pray about that possibility?)

And what about offering a word of support to those who teach your own children, not only at church but at school as well? The work of a teacher is pretty stressful (I know; I’m married to one) and a little encouragement can mean a lot. Why not become a supporter of some children’s charity - Save the Children, Children in Need, or the RSPCC?

For some there is the ministry of fostering and adoption. 

Just this last week I attended a conference in London organised by Home for Good in conjunction with the Evangelical Alliance. Home for Good is a Christian organisation dedicated to children in hard and painful circumstances. It is not itself an adoption agency, but is a good first step for anyone who may feel called by God to consider this possibility. 

I was made extremely aware of the truly wonderful nature of adoption - what greater thing can anyone do than welcome a troubled (and probably quite troublesome!) child into their home? I was made aware too of the tragically high number of children in Britain alone, running into many thousands, who currently need an adoptive or foster home. 

It’s a big step to take and certainly not one to be taken lightly, but could it be that it’s one you should be exploring?

And there was something else I was made aware of: all of us who believe in Jesus are adopted as sons and daughters of God. That great truth, somehow, puts everything else in a new light...

Lord, please show me if there is something you would like me to do for children in your name. Amen.

Do you think God could be calling you to adopt or foster? Why not contact Home for Good? Go to homeforgood.org.uk/contact or ring 0300 001 0995.It could be the start of a whole new life