A case of all or nothing

Jesus said, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and his mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters - yes, even his own life - he cannot be my disciple... Luke 14:26

If I had to make a list of the ten words I most dislike I think “hate” would be right up there at the top. It conjures up in my mind a snarling face and a contemptuous attitude. It seems to be saying “I couldn’t care less about you”, even “I wish you were dead”. Hatred is as negative a sentiment as you could wish not to meet.

Which makes it all the more troubling to find it here on the lips of Jesus. And puzzling too. Doesn’t Jesus tell us elsewhere to love even our enemies? Yet here he is advocating hatred for our loved ones. What’s going on?

To make good sense of these words I think we need to grasp two basic points. At first sight they may seem to contradict one another, but I hope you will end up agreeing with me that they don’t.

First, these words are not to be taken literally.

Jesus is all about love, not hate. Yes, we are indeed to love even our enemies (Matthew 5:44)! 

And when it comes to family life, the Bible consistently tells us to value it. According to the ten commandments (Exodus 20) we are to honour father and mother. Marriage is to be held as a sacred, holy relationship: this is made beautifully clear in Genesis 2:24, and Jesus himself reinforces it in Matthew 19:2-6. Paul in Ephesians 6:1-4 implies strong support of family ties. 

So why does Jesus speak like this? Because it is a powerful, expressive way of ramming home the fact that following him comes before all other allegiances. In the Bible “love” often means “put first”; “hate” means “never let this take precedence”. 

Sometimes we all need to be shocked into sitting up and taking notice of what is being said; this is what Jesus is doing here. (If you want confirmation of that, turn to Matthew’s softer version of the same command in Matthew 10:37-39.)

But second, in spite of what we have just seen, we mustn’t wriggle out of the sheer seriousness of what Jesus is saying.

 

He goes on in the following verses to talk not only of hating loved ones, but even of hating our own lives. He speaks of “taking up our cross” to follow him - and remember that the Romans under whom Israel suffered at this time were experts in the gruesome, cruel art of crucifixion, so this was no mere metaphor. 

Let’s put it like this: the “Jesus project”, if I can call it that - nothing less than the establishing of God’s kingdom “on earth as it is in heaven” - is an all-consuming thing. You can’t be half-hearted about it. It’s all or nothing. It involves sacrifice, even possibly danger.

In recent weeks some very brave people in the medical field have been travelling out to areas afflicted by ebola. Thank God for them! When they made the decision to go they knew that they were putting themselves at risk: some have indeed suffered. But they believed strongly enough in the urgency of the need to be willing to jeapordise their own lives. 

I think that’s not a bad analogy for what Jesus is saying here: “Follow me! - whatever the cost may be”.

This poses to us the question: all right, we may never be called on literally to face crucifixion or to set aside the claims of family life, but how much does the call of Jesus really mean to us?

So much for making sense of a hard saying. But I think there is a third point also worth mentioning: Jesus’ words put a whole new complexion on the idea of “family life” and “family values”.

 

It’s fashionable to hear people, both Christians and others (perhaps especially politicians in the build-up to a general or presidential election?), laying a great emphasis on the family. And that surely must be right.

But as Christians we have to be careful. We mustn’t - if I can put it this way - out-Jesus Jesus. It was he, after all, who told his troubled earthly parents that he had to be “about my father’s work” (Luke 2:49). It was he who must have caused Mary and his siblings pain by his words recorded in Matthew 12:48-50.

The message is clear: even a good thing - yes, even a beautiful, holy, sacred thing (and family life is certainly all of these) - can become an idol.

Any idols in your life or mine?

Lord God, help me right now to weigh up the priorities in my life. Help me to value all that is good and ordained by you. But help me never to turn even the best of them into an idol. Amen.