Bored with prayer?

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. Romans 8:26-27

Be completely honest, please… Do you ever find the business of praying a bit of a chore? Even worse, perhaps, a bit of a bore?

We know that prayer is at the heart of our faith as Christians, because Christianity, whatever else it may be about, is about a relationship with God, and how can we have a relationship with anybody without talking to them? The Bible, both testaments, is full of it: Jesus himself is our supreme example (see, for example, Matthew 14:23) and also our supreme teacher (Matthew 6:9-15). A prayerless faith will soon go dry and shrivelled.

And yet… it can be so hard!

We sense that prayer should be our greatest daily joy, but so often it’s more like a daily duty. I mustn’t claim to speak for all Christians, of course, but I suspect most of us can identify with the very honest words of CS Lewis: “We are reluctant to begin. We are delighted to finish”. It makes prayer sound a bit on a par with brushing our teeth or making that awkward phone call! – let’s get it over and done with, and get on with the day.

Does the Bible offer us any comfort in this quandary? Three things come to my mind…

First, the very fact that the Bible tells us so often to pray suggests that it recognises that it isn’t easy: after all, we don’t have to be told to do the  things we naturally enjoy, do we? Most of us don’t need any encouragement to settle down to watch our favourite television programme or eat a good meal, do we? We just do it.

If only prayer was like that! But it isn’t – and that’s that, so let’s get used to it.

(And let’s not forget: a duty faithfully carried out can, wonderfully, become a joy.)

Second, let’s bear in mind that many of the prayers in the Bible are really very short and even matter-of-fact. How many seconds does it take to pray the Lord’s Prayer, “the prayer that Jesus taught us to pray”? Answer: not many. True, we will probably want to linger over it and to enlarge on it according to our own needs and circumstances. But still…

Certainly, the Bible also has its share of prayers which are lengthy and highly emotional. So, sometimes, ours may be. But let’s not be intimidated by the example of Christians who think nothing of praying whole nights through or weeping whole buckets of tears (God bless them!). What’s right for them may not be right for us. (To quote CS Lewis again: “Emotional intensity is in itself no proof of spiritual depth”.)

Third, and most important perhaps, are the words of Romans 8:26: “… the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans”. That word “weakness” is very general, covering anything from physical and mental frailty to sickness and sheer weariness.

But isn’t what Paul says here just wonderful! Had you ever thought that the most powerful and meaningful prayer you ever pray might be expressed in – a groan!

Paul has quite a lot to say about groaning in this passage, starting at verse 18. He tells us that the very creation that God has made is a groaning creation (and don’t we know it in 2023!), and that we his people share in that groaning “as we wait eagerly for our adoption… the redemption of our bodies”. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit may lead to all sorts of dramatic utterances, including prophecy and “speaking in tongues”; but it may also result in unutterable groans. Christian, be encouraged!

We are new creatures in Christ, already sharing his resurrection; but we don’t yet have our new resurrection bodies. We are saved already; but we are still sinners. We are betwixt and between, and that’s how it will be until the day we die and rise again bodily. No wonder, then, that we groan in frustration and pain; no wonder that when we try to pray it often seems such hard work and we find it hard to stifle a yawn. Christian, be patient!

What it boils down to, I think, is this. When we come to God in prayer, certainly we should want to bring our best, but our business is to bring to him what we have - not what we think we ought to have, and not what we would like to have; certainly not pretending to have what we don’t. Do we really imagine we can fool God?

If our sincerest prayer is “O Lord, I’m finding praying such a burden” or even “Father, I really would like a break from prayer, please!”, or even a massive yawn – well, so be it. That yawn is a gift of the Holy Spirit and, as Paul says, “the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God” (verse 26). Where we might be all at sea, the Spirit knows exactly where he is going, and where we need to go. Just trust him to “process” our groans into prayer acceptable to our heavenly Father.

Father, my heart’s desire is to know you more deeply, to love you better, and to enjoy you more fully. But I find it sometimes so hard, and I feel such a failure. Thank you for the gift of the Spirit – please help me to trust that he turns my weakness into strength and my confusion into clarity. Please help me to persevere. Amen.

The CS Lewis quotes are from Letters to Malcolm, chiefly on prayer which, to me, is 30% wonderful and 70% incomprehensible. Worth reading for the 30% (just pray to know the difference!).