Someone in the crowd said to Jesus, ‘Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.’ Jesus replied, ‘Man, who appointed me an arbiter or judge between you?’” Luke 12:14
How good are you at saying No?
If you are a Christian who takes your faith seriously I suspect the answer to that question might well be, “Not very!” Many of us feel a sense of obligation to help others in any and every situation - if we don’t, then we’re letting people down, aren’t we? ...it’s part of being a Christian to respond to any call for help, isn’t it?
Well, actually, no it isn’t it.
Look at Jesus in Luke 12. He is at the centre of a large crowd of people, “many thousands”, according to verse 1. He is teaching on various topics when suddenly a voice comes out of the crowd - a man appeals to him to sort out a dispute that he has with his brother.
And Jesus, in effect, says No: “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” One commentary says that that word “Man” would have sounded, if not rude, then certainly a little brusque. Some translations soften it with something like “My dear friend”, but perhaps that’s not quite brusque enough. Possibly The Message captures it well: “Mister...”
Whatever. What matters is that Jesus declines to do as the man asks - though he does use it as a trigger to warn the crowd about the dangers of greed (verses 15-21).
If I may use an ugly in-word, Jesus is setting us an example of prioritisation. He decides that this man’s request, while it may have been reasonable, simply isn’t something he should get involved with. He has, as the saying goes, far bigger fish to fry.
Many people today, not least Christians, are ground down by the remorseless pressures of life: stress and exhaustion are major problems. Sadly, in many instances that’s just the way life is, and we have to cope with it as best we can.
But is it possible that sometimes we bring these problems on ourselves because we fail to prioritise?
No way would I hold myself up as a model - I’m very far from perfect! But when I retired five years ago I had completed over forty years of full-time ministry in just two pastorates. Sometimes people would express surprise at this, and even ask how I had managed it. I think part at least of the answer was that I had learned that I simply couldn’t do everything, however willing I tried to be. And so I learned to say “Sorry, but no...”
There were people who thought that the minister should chair every meeting and committee and be up-front in every initiative the church was involved in. But (possibly also, to be brutally honest, because of a streak of lazy selfishness!) I felt it necessary to disappoint them. Well, they seem to have survived... and probably did a far better job without my active involvement.
Edward Heath was the British prime minister from 1970 to 1974. One day he was at a railway station when someone collapsed on the platform. As people scurried around to help, Mr Heath was noticed and was asked to come and speak to the person in question. He sized up the situation, saw that there were plenty of people round the man, and judged that just because he was prime minister that didn’t in fact qualify him to be useful. So he declined.
Callous and hard-hearted? I don’t think so. No, I suspect he was just sensible and realistic.
It reminds me of that prayer you hear from time to time: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
To my mind that’s an almost perfect prayer. “The things I cannot change” might include a motorway log-jam, a sudden illness, or disappointing weather on a holiday - or of course things that are far worse. But given that I can have no control over them, there really is no point in getting uptight about them.
The “things I can change” - well, that’s the challenge, isn’t it! Yes, of course, if a situation arises where I really do have something to offer, then God forgive me if I hold back. There are times when God calls us to work tirelessly for some objective, to resolutely refuse to leave things as they are. And if we are open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, he will surely give us the wisdom to know what they are.
Let’s remember: every minute spent doing things which are not really within our gifting is a minute when we are not doing something that is. So we may simply be wasting time - and wearing ourselves out for no good reason...
Lord God, every minute of every day is a gift from you. Give me indeed the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
How good are you at saying No?
If you are a Christian who takes your faith seriously I suspect the answer to that question might well be, “Not very!” Many of us feel a sense of obligation to help others in any and every situation - if we don’t, then we’re letting people down, aren’t we? ...it’s part of being a Christian to respond to any call for help, isn’t it?
Well, actually, no it isn’t it.
Look at Jesus in Luke 12. He is at the centre of a large crowd of people, “many thousands”, according to verse 1. He is teaching on various topics when suddenly a voice comes out of the crowd - a man appeals to him to sort out a dispute that he has with his brother.
And Jesus, in effect, says No: “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” One commentary says that that word “Man” would have sounded, if not rude, then certainly a little brusque. Some translations soften it with something like “My dear friend”, but perhaps that’s not quite brusque enough. Possibly The Message captures it well: “Mister...”
Whatever. What matters is that Jesus declines to do as the man asks - though he does use it as a trigger to warn the crowd about the dangers of greed (verses 15-21).
If I may use an ugly in-word, Jesus is setting us an example of prioritisation. He decides that this man’s request, while it may have been reasonable, simply isn’t something he should get involved with. He has, as the saying goes, far bigger fish to fry.
Many people today, not least Christians, are ground down by the remorseless pressures of life: stress and exhaustion are major problems. Sadly, in many instances that’s just the way life is, and we have to cope with it as best we can.
But is it possible that sometimes we bring these problems on ourselves because we fail to prioritise?
No way would I hold myself up as a model - I’m very far from perfect! But when I retired five years ago I had completed over forty years of full-time ministry in just two pastorates. Sometimes people would express surprise at this, and even ask how I had managed it. I think part at least of the answer was that I had learned that I simply couldn’t do everything, however willing I tried to be. And so I learned to say “Sorry, but no...”
There were people who thought that the minister should chair every meeting and committee and be up-front in every initiative the church was involved in. But (possibly also, to be brutally honest, because of a streak of lazy selfishness!) I felt it necessary to disappoint them. Well, they seem to have survived... and probably did a far better job without my active involvement.
Edward Heath was the British prime minister from 1970 to 1974. One day he was at a railway station when someone collapsed on the platform. As people scurried around to help, Mr Heath was noticed and was asked to come and speak to the person in question. He sized up the situation, saw that there were plenty of people round the man, and judged that just because he was prime minister that didn’t in fact qualify him to be useful. So he declined.
Callous and hard-hearted? I don’t think so. No, I suspect he was just sensible and realistic.
It reminds me of that prayer you hear from time to time: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
To my mind that’s an almost perfect prayer. “The things I cannot change” might include a motorway log-jam, a sudden illness, or disappointing weather on a holiday - or of course things that are far worse. But given that I can have no control over them, there really is no point in getting uptight about them.
The “things I can change” - well, that’s the challenge, isn’t it! Yes, of course, if a situation arises where I really do have something to offer, then God forgive me if I hold back. There are times when God calls us to work tirelessly for some objective, to resolutely refuse to leave things as they are. And if we are open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, he will surely give us the wisdom to know what they are.
Let’s remember: every minute spent doing things which are not really within our gifting is a minute when we are not doing something that is. So we may simply be wasting time - and wearing ourselves out for no good reason...
Lord God, every minute of every day is a gift from you. Give me indeed the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
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