But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’, for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:20b-24
I read a newspaper article recently about a couple who had entered into an “open marriage”. This was some time ago - the woman writing was, I think, well into her middle or even later years, and she was writing about the “permissive” days of the 1970s and 80s.
What is an “open marriage”? In essence, a marriage in which, while the couple may regard themselves as committed to one another, they also regard themselves as free to enter other relationships as well, sometimes sexual, sometimes not. There is only one “rule”: total honesty on both sides - this is thought to reflect their maturity, and to set them free from petty and negative restrictions.
Apparently, in this case, it had worked fine for a time. But then a day came when the husband decided that, after all, he had fallen in love with someone else and wanted to be with her. Suddenly the beautiful simplicity of the open marriage didn’t seem quite so simple after all. A lot of pain, culminating in divorce, followed.
The story didn’t end there. The wife entered a new relationship, and she and her new partner decided to marry. But this time they opted for a more “traditional” approach, whereby their marriage bond involved total commitment - “till death us do part”, as the old-fashioned wording of the marriage service puts it.
The writer couldn’t help but reflect, a touch ruefully, on the fact that, though not a Christian, and though quite modern in her general attitudes, she and her husband had in fact come to realise that the traditional model of marriage - indeed, the biblical model - is the one most likely to lead to fulfilment and satisfaction.
And I couldn’t help but think: how sad that she and her first husband had had to go through a painful and bruising experience on the way to discovering the value of the pattern laid down in the Bible, a pattern so beautifully depicted in the Adam and Eve story - and a pattern which for many millions of people has stood the test of time.
A very simple lesson emerges from that article: God really does know best.
The illustration often used is that of the car maintenance manual: the people who made your car are the people best qualified to tell you how to drive it and how to keep it in good condition.
And, by the same token, marriage is not simply a human invention, but a beautiful gift of the God who made us and who loves us, and who therefore is the best person to listen to when it comes to living it out.
God gave the gift of marriage to make us happy, not in order to restrict our freedom and cramp our instincts. And that remains true even if the climate of opinion in which we are living is so dramatically different from the one experienced by generations gone by.
No one in their senses will pretend that this is always easy. Not at all. Talk to couples who have been married for many years and - if they’re honest! - they will probably tell you about the times when their commitment to their marriage vows was stretched even sometimes to breaking point.
But there is a special beauty about the relationship of older people who have been through the hard and lean times - yes, sometimes bearing the scars of battle - but who can continue to testify to the joys and blessings they have received.
Different Christians may take different views about various aspects of marriage today - especially regarding the question of divorce. The Bible speaks with a voice that sometimes seems mixed - the God who states flatly in Malachi 2:16 (in most translations, anyway) that he “hates divorce” does seem also to permit divorce under certain circumstances (Matthew 5:31-32, 19:9 and1 Corinthians 7:15).
But there can be no doubt about the ideal that God has given us. The fact that we sometimes fail does not mean that God ceases to love us or is unwilling to give us another start: he is a gracious and forgiving God.
If ever there was an area in our confused and restless modern world where we as Christians are called to offer a clear witness to those around us, this surely is it. So much pain could be saved! - so much contentment gained!
Marriage is to be honoured, cherished and valued, not taken for granted or treated with cynicism or casualness. Let those of who are married do our utmost to be true to the commitment we have made.
And let all of us, whatever our situation may be - single, married, widowed or divorced - make it our aim to live lives which glorify God. And which bless those who don’t yet share our faith.
Lord God, help me day by day to live such a life as to show those around me that you are a God of love and grace who wants our happiness, and that in all things your way is best. Amen.
I read a newspaper article recently about a couple who had entered into an “open marriage”. This was some time ago - the woman writing was, I think, well into her middle or even later years, and she was writing about the “permissive” days of the 1970s and 80s.
What is an “open marriage”? In essence, a marriage in which, while the couple may regard themselves as committed to one another, they also regard themselves as free to enter other relationships as well, sometimes sexual, sometimes not. There is only one “rule”: total honesty on both sides - this is thought to reflect their maturity, and to set them free from petty and negative restrictions.
Apparently, in this case, it had worked fine for a time. But then a day came when the husband decided that, after all, he had fallen in love with someone else and wanted to be with her. Suddenly the beautiful simplicity of the open marriage didn’t seem quite so simple after all. A lot of pain, culminating in divorce, followed.
The story didn’t end there. The wife entered a new relationship, and she and her new partner decided to marry. But this time they opted for a more “traditional” approach, whereby their marriage bond involved total commitment - “till death us do part”, as the old-fashioned wording of the marriage service puts it.
The writer couldn’t help but reflect, a touch ruefully, on the fact that, though not a Christian, and though quite modern in her general attitudes, she and her husband had in fact come to realise that the traditional model of marriage - indeed, the biblical model - is the one most likely to lead to fulfilment and satisfaction.
And I couldn’t help but think: how sad that she and her first husband had had to go through a painful and bruising experience on the way to discovering the value of the pattern laid down in the Bible, a pattern so beautifully depicted in the Adam and Eve story - and a pattern which for many millions of people has stood the test of time.
A very simple lesson emerges from that article: God really does know best.
The illustration often used is that of the car maintenance manual: the people who made your car are the people best qualified to tell you how to drive it and how to keep it in good condition.
And, by the same token, marriage is not simply a human invention, but a beautiful gift of the God who made us and who loves us, and who therefore is the best person to listen to when it comes to living it out.
God gave the gift of marriage to make us happy, not in order to restrict our freedom and cramp our instincts. And that remains true even if the climate of opinion in which we are living is so dramatically different from the one experienced by generations gone by.
No one in their senses will pretend that this is always easy. Not at all. Talk to couples who have been married for many years and - if they’re honest! - they will probably tell you about the times when their commitment to their marriage vows was stretched even sometimes to breaking point.
But there is a special beauty about the relationship of older people who have been through the hard and lean times - yes, sometimes bearing the scars of battle - but who can continue to testify to the joys and blessings they have received.
Different Christians may take different views about various aspects of marriage today - especially regarding the question of divorce. The Bible speaks with a voice that sometimes seems mixed - the God who states flatly in Malachi 2:16 (in most translations, anyway) that he “hates divorce” does seem also to permit divorce under certain circumstances (Matthew 5:31-32, 19:9 and1 Corinthians 7:15).
But there can be no doubt about the ideal that God has given us. The fact that we sometimes fail does not mean that God ceases to love us or is unwilling to give us another start: he is a gracious and forgiving God.
If ever there was an area in our confused and restless modern world where we as Christians are called to offer a clear witness to those around us, this surely is it. So much pain could be saved! - so much contentment gained!
Marriage is to be honoured, cherished and valued, not taken for granted or treated with cynicism or casualness. Let those of who are married do our utmost to be true to the commitment we have made.
And let all of us, whatever our situation may be - single, married, widowed or divorced - make it our aim to live lives which glorify God. And which bless those who don’t yet share our faith.
Lord God, help me day by day to live such a life as to show those around me that you are a God of love and grace who wants our happiness, and that in all things your way is best. Amen.
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