Stop beating yourself up!

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’ Mark 6:31

Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.’ Matthew 11:28

Facebook has this habit of digging up things you posted in the past and sending them back to you as “memories”. Just recently there was a blog I wrote a year or two ago which, reading it over again, I felt missed something important. So I’m returning to it now.

The post was about “enjoying God” – a reminder that God isn’t simply to be believed in, trusted, and obeyed, but actively enjoyed. I took as my starting point the lovely invitation of Psalm 34:8: “Taste and see that the Lord is good”.

Much of what I wrote was about things that spoil our enjoyment of God. I picked out (1) sin (the most obvious one), (2) anxiety (something most of us have to wrestle with throughout our lives), and (3) busyness (a bane of so much modern living). All true, I still think.

But, as I say, I feel I missed something important: what you might call an over-sensitive conscience.

What I mean is this: there’s a danger that we are so concerned – rightly, of course – to live a really committed Christian life that we condemn ourselves unnecessarily when we feel we have fallen short. The in-phrase, I think, is that we “beat ourselves up”.

As I look back on my life I would certainly say that I have fallen into this trap. As a young Christian I used to hear sermons about the importance of prayer, for example, and, as a result, I found it difficult, every time I prayed, not to feel a failure. I won’t say exactly that I would pray with my eye on the clock, but I think that sometimes I came pretty close – I haven’t prayed long enough! I haven’t prayed hard enough! John Wesley used to pray at least seven hours every day, so what’s so wrong with me that I struggle to manage ten minutes!

It was other things too… Why don’t I read the Bible more often! When did I last bring someone to faith in Christ! Why do I sometimes not feel like going to church! Why do I sometimes find it so hard to love my fellow-Christians! Why do I still get crabby with the children? Why can’t I get on with that person at work?

And so on… Oh, Lord, I’m just useless!

I wonder if you can identify with that? If you can, you will know that the idea of enjoying God is pretty remote. Without meaning to, we are treating him not as our loving heavenly Father, but as an old-fashioned school-teacher always looking over our shoulder because we’re falling short and it’s just not good enough.

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that we should ever be soft on sin: God isn’t, and neither should we be. But I am not talking about sin, which is deliberate disobedience to God. No, I’m talking about the very natural frailties and weaknesses which continue to mark even our new-born Christian natures.

Putting it in a nutshell: Are there times when God is far gentler with us than we are with ourselves? Or putting the same question the other way round: Are there times when we are far harder on ourselves than God is?

Hard on our sins; gentle with our weaknesses – that sums up the nature of God towards his people. There’s a great Bible story which illustrates that truth.

According to 1 Kings, the prophet Elijah won a spectacular victory over the false prophets of Baal (that’s chapter 18), immediately followed by an equally spectacular collapse at the threats of Queen Jezebel (that’s chapter 19)…

“Elijah was afraid and ran for his life… He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord… Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors’” (verses 3-5).

In plain English: “I’m no good, Lord; I’m a miserable, wretched failure. I’d be better off dead…”

So what did God do? Scold him? Condemn him? No. He sent him an angel who “touched him”. He provided beautiful fresh-baked bread, a pitcher of healthy clean water, the gift of refreshing sleep – oh, and a dramatic revelation of himself, followed by a recommissioning to God’s service (verses 5-18).

Isn’t it interesting that God ministered to Elijah’s bodily needs before attending to his “spiritual” needs? He knew that Elijah was utterly spent, drained, exhausted. Oh yes, he had failed all right; no doubt about that. But God dealt with him tenderly and gently.

Does that remind you of anyone in the New Testament?

What about Simon Peter? Did he too fail miserably? Not half he did (see Matthew 26:69-75)! And did Jesus give him a scolding? Not half he didn’t! No, he put his arm round his shoulders and stood him right back on his feet (see John 21:15-19).

So the message is..?

Do you and I sometimes fail? Yes, we do. Do we feel miserable, wretched and useless? Yes, we do. But does God stop loving us? No, he doesn’t.

So… are there times we need to stop beating ourselves up? Yes! Yes, I rather think there are, don’t you?

Loving Father, sometimes I feel that my life is just a long list of failures and defeats. Thank you so much that you still love me even when I hate myself. Amen.