A demanding glory

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offence. Proverbs 19:11

This is a precious little proverb. It tells us that along with wisdom comes the gift of patience – and how our world could do with more of that! But what really captures my attention is this: “it is to one’s glory to overlook an offence”.

Overlooking an offence… Is that something you’re good at? - turning a blind eye to something you could get angry about? You could call it “generosity of spirit”, “big-heartedness”, perhaps, if you like long words, “magnanimity”. Whatever, our troubled, angry, vengeful world is in short supply of it. And perhaps you and I are too.

The opposite is to “harbour a grudge” or “nurse a grievance”. That’s terribly easy to do - quite likely we do it without even realising what we’re doing. So it may require real determination, a real effort of will-power, to not do it.

An “offence” which is seriously hurtful can leave a deep wound which never quite heals apart from the grace of God, and which even then leaves a scar. So people who have been victims of a life-changing injury or crime, for example, shouldn’t have this proverb quoted to them in a breezy, shallow way. Those grim words at the end of Psalm 137 – “Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks” - words directed at the cruel Babylonians, and words which make us flinch, shouldn’t be condemned until we know something of what the writer had experienced.

This is why it is a “glorious” thing to learn to do this; it reflects the very nature of our forgiving God himself, so to do it is a God-like act. Indeed, it is at the very heart of the Bible and the gospel itself, for isn’t this what God has done in the cross of Jesus?

Certainly, the Bible is full of this. Here are three key passages…

First, remember how dear, naïve Simon Peter came to Jesus with the innocent question: “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” (Matthew 18:21) He probably imagined he was being very generous-spirited. But Jesus (I picture him shaking his head sadly) replies, “Not seven times, but seventy-seven times!” And I don’t think he meant that Peter should keep a careful count, so that once he had totted up seventy-eight offences he was free to let his hatred run riot, do you?

That leads directly to 1 Corinthians 13:5. This is part of Paul’s great hymn on love, and the particularly relevant words tell us that love “is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs”.

Isn’t that exactly what Jesus was saying to Peter? Get rid of that calculating, totting-up mentality, Peter! Quite apart from anything else, such a spirit doesn’t hurt the other person anyway, but only corrupts your inner man or woman. Yes, to harbour a grudge is in fact an act of self-poisoning.

The third passage is, unsurprisingly, directly to do with the cross. In Luke 23:34 we read that as he was crucified Jesus prayed this breath-takingly wonderful prayer: “Father, forgive them; they don’t know what they are doing”.

Talk about “overlooking an offence”! Talk about “amazing grace”! Talk about “love divine, all loves excelling”! Such words barely begin to cover it. It would do us all good to close our eyes for a few minutes and let that prayer of Jesus, and all that it means, sink deeply into our souls.

I have always tended to take that prayer as offered on behalf of the soldiers who had the horrible job of carrying out the crucifixion - they were just ignorant men obeying orders, after all. But the thought occurs to me that perhaps he had in mind also the people in the seats of power, whether the religious leaders or the Roman authorities. How much did they really understand, in their blindness and stubbornness? I don’t know if that is right, of course, but I would like to think so.

Whatever, it certainly justifies the use of the word “glory” by the writer of Proverbs: “It is to one’s glory to overlook an offence”. Glorious indeed! It’s worth reflecting on the fact: I may have it in my power today to do something truly glorious.

C S Lewis wrote: “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive”. Yes! - overlooking an offence may be hard, painful and completely against the grain. But isn’t that just one of the reasons why it is also “glorious”?

Father, please drain out of my heart every trace of resentment, bitterness and vengefulness. Give me, I pray, the heart of Jesus himself, full only of forgiving love. Amen.