I'm anxious, Lord!

Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches… 2 Corinthians 11:28

Do you pray for your minister? If so, how regularly? Every day? Or just when you happen to think about him or her?

If ever you needed an incentive to do so, the whole passage from 2 Corinthians 11:16-33 provides it (perhaps take a moment right now to read it through).

Paul is aware that in the church in Corinth (a church, bear in mind, that he founded) there are people who have their doubts about him and who question his authority. So he decides, though very much against his better judgment, that the time has come to let his hair down and assert his credentials as an apostle.

He realises - with, I think, a kind of grim humour - that this is a crazy thing to do: “I am speaking as a fool!” (verse 21); “I am out of my mind to talk like this!” (verse 23). But he feels he has to find some way of making them sit up and take notice.

And so we get a long catalogue of the things he has suffered in the service of Christ. To get the full flavour I recommend that you read these verses out loud, standing in front of a mirror, and putting real passion into it – the note of heavy sarcasm (19-21), the rhetorical questions (22-23), the repetition of the word “danger” (26), and then the detailed list of his hardships – culminating in the indignity of having to run away from Damascus by dropping through a window in a basket (23-33).

This is a good passage to read next time we feel a bit self-pitying about our hardships in the Christian life! Most of us know precisely nothing!

But tucked away near the end of this outburst is a little remark which is quite low-key by comparison, but which seems to weigh as heavily with Paul as all the rest put together: “Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches” (verse 28).

All right, your minister, and the leadership as a whole, may not be quite in the Apostle Paul league, but be in no doubt that that “pressure” is something they are familiar with. You probably don’t see it. On Sundays, up front, they are strong, positive, smiling; but you don’t know what’s playing on their mind: that little quarrel between two key people; those who haven’t returned to regular worship since covid; the slightly worrying state of the church’s finances; the increasingly urgent need for children’s or young people’s workers. Etc, etc…

Leading a church is not an easy task. There are a dozen balls to juggle at the same time, and they can lead at best to sleepless nights, at worst to serious mental health problems.

You might say, “But surely spiritual leaders are supposed to be people of faith! If they get ground down by the anxieties of the work, what hope is there for any of us!”

Quite right, of course. But that observation just makes your minister feel even worse – it adds a heavy dollop of guilt to the already existing pressure. Your minister may be a truly spiritual person, but that doesn’t mean they are necessarily immune to the anxieties that go with the calling.

One of the things I really respect in Paul is his openness about his own spiritual fragility. This second letter to the church in Corinth especially reflects this. It’s right here in chapter 11, and he gets something very similar off his chest in chapter 6, where he speaks about “endurance… troubles, hardships and distresses” (verse 4).

And as for chapter 1, especially verses 8-11 – well, if ever you slipped into the error of regarding Paul as some kind of spiritual Superman, it’s time to think again! He frankly states, “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself”. Is that really the great apostle speaking!

You might also say, “But surely Jesus tells us not to worry” (Matthew 6:25). Again, quite right. But there are different kinds of worry! In fact (being technical for a moment), it’s interesting that the word Jesus uses for “worry” there in the Sermon on the Mount is the same word as Paul uses in 2 Corinthians 11:28 to describe his own frame of mind, and which the NIV translates “concern” while the ESV goes bluntly for “anxiety”. In other words, you could say that Paul explicitly admits to something Jesus tells us not to do. (I invite you to sort that out – and perhaps let me know what you come up with!)

I’m not suggesting we should treat our leaders with kid-gloves: just reminding us that they need our support, our encouragement – and our prayers. After all, if we aren’t praying for them, who will be? It’s no accident that several times in his letters Paul asks for the prayers of his readers. A wise man, Paul!

Oh, and one last thing. Just possibly you might yourself be a spiritual leader, and that there are times you feel ground down and anxious because of the weight of responsibility. Well, take heart! It seems you are in good company!

Father, whatever my role in life, please help me to learn the discipline of gathering up my anxieties and laying them firmly at your feet. Amen.