Thinking about dying?

To me, to live is Christ, to die is gain. Philippians 1:21 (NIV)

Alive, I’m Christ’s messenger; dead, I’m his bounty. Life versus even more life! I can’t lose. Philippians 1:21 (The Message)

There was a report in the paper recently that funerals are going out of fashion in Britain. It seems that more than 50% of people are opting for “direct cremation” (whatever that may mean), rather than more traditional ceremonies.

Two main reasons for this trend are suggested. First, expense: full-blown funerals and cremations are not cheap. And second, a general decline both in religious faith and also, presumably, in any sense of a need for a formal farewell for the person who has died.

Fair enough. As a minister, I have always felt uncomfortable when asked to conduct a funeral by, or for, people I don’t know. It’s hard to do so with any great warmth and - putting it bluntly – it can easily trigger the rather nasty thought, “If you’ve been happy to live without God, then be prepared to die without him”. Putting that a little more kindly: have the courage of your own unconvictions!

There are two problems with that. For one thing, it seems harsh and judgmental; after all, I don’t know for sure about that person, and who am I to judge anyway? And second, the words of a Christian funeral, spoken clearly and with conviction, are extremely powerful: am I therefore spurning an opportunity to present the gospel of Christ crucified and risen?

Whatever, there’s no getting away from the fact that matters of life and death are real and meaningful to most people - and that those of us who profess faith in Christ do indeed have something positive, challenging and comforting to say.

I personally have been doing a bit of thinking about it all recently – partly, perhaps, because of the grimness of the covid crisis, but also, I’m sure, because I have become increasingly conscious myself of getting old. It’s a bit sobering when you realise that your last birthday took you nearer to 80 than 70!

My wife and I chat about it, not sombrely, indeed sometimes jokingly, and of course against the background of a faith built and nurtured over many years. The verse I have quoted at the top, Philippians 1:21, has become a favourite for us; the Message translation is quite free, but I think it well reflects Paul’s great confidence: “Alive, I’m Christ’s messenger; dead, I’m his bounty. Life versus even more life! I can’t lose”. That changes everything!

If we ask ourselves the question “Am I ready to go?”, the honest answer of the Christian is likely to be that old stand-by “Yes, and no”.

Yes, in that we are, by faith, “in Christ”, to use a favourite expression of the New Testament: our sins are forgiven and his resurrection life has been gifted to us. We have become part of him. All is well.

But no, in that we may feel we still have a lot of living to do! – people to go on loving, work to go on doing, things to go on enjoying and learning about. Life is good! – at least for those of us who are privileged to be relatively free of the poverty, war, pain, sickness and hardship that blight the lives of so many millions. Even we have to tell ourselves firmly that, however good life may be for us, what we are to inherit after death is indescribably better.

Does the Bible offer us any guidance regarding funeral customs?

Not really. God’s Old Testament people were certainly unafraid to give vent to their grief, but beyond that there is little to satisfy our curiosity. One example is the burial of Abner, killed by David’s right hand man Joab but very publicly mourned by David (2 Samuel 3): “King David himself walked behind the bier. They buried Abner in Hebron, and the king wept aloud at Abner’s tomb…” He even sang a “lament” for him (verses 33-34).

The New Testament offers us just one “funeral” (that of Jesus, of course, doesn’t count!). In Acts 6-8 we read about the witness and martyrdom of Stephen, stoned to death by an angry crowd. In 6:2 we read very simply: “Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him”. No details at all.

That little verse sums up perfectly the twofold nature of any kind of Christian funeral. First, a profound hope of eternal life – those early believers would have been in no doubt where Stephen had gone! But second, a frank recognition of the great sadness which inevitably accompanies death, especially a cruelly premature one. No stiff upper lips, please!

Those of us privileged to conduct such services should plan and pray that both those strands might be clearly reflected.

Of course, what really matters is not so much services and ceremonies once a death has taken place, but the nature of the life that has gone before. As Christians we seek, of course, to live well – but should we not also strive, as earlier generations of Christians did, to die well?

And what does dying well mean? What else but dying in childlike faith, in solid hope, in glad obedience, and in firm allegiance to Christ who lived, died, and rose again? Loving Father, grant me grace so to die!

Father, thank you that your Son lived a perfect life, died a perfect death, and rose victorious from the grave. Thank you that that changes everything. Help me to live day by day in the light of this greatest of all truths, to be a light to all who know me, and to come to that day when I shall see Jesus as he is in glory. Amen.