Mary - the joy and the pain

Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said ‘He is out of his mind’. Mark 3:21

Mark 3:20-35 records a disturbing and rather puzzling episode in the life of Jesus. If we read it right through we find that he is drawing large crowds of listeners and there seems to be a danger of things getting out of hand. It gets so bad that Mary and Jesus’ brothers turn up to try and “take charge of him” (!) and take him home, for “they said ‘He is out of his mind’”. It seems they want to physically frog-march him away.

Who are “they”? It isn’t entirely clear. They could be people in the crowd or Jesus’ enemies. But many Bible teachers think that it’s a reference to Mary and the family: the literal meaning is “Those who were with him”, which would, of course, cover both his family and the twelve apostles. Whatever, it was a serious situation – Mary and the brothers were reduced to standing on the outskirts of the crowd, unable even to get to him (verse 32).

After the story of Jesus’ birth the Gospels tell us very little about Mary.

There is the episode of him as a twelve-year old boy going missing in the Jerusalem temple and seeming to dismiss their natural anxieties: “What worried you! Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” (Luke 2:49).

That must have hurt! Of course they knew perfectly well that Joseph wasn’t his real father, but he had been in effect a father to him, so this question must have seemed like a slap in the face.

Then there was the occasion of the wedding at Cana (John 2:1-12). No Joseph now – presumably he has died, so Mary no longer has the comfort of his support. She naturally turns to Jesus for help when the wine runs out – a true social disaster; and he seems almost off-hand with her: “Woman, why do you involve me?… My hour has not yet come”. She turns to the servants with the simple instruction, “Do whatever he tells you”, as if to say, “I don’t understand him any better than you! Just do what he says!”

And it gets even worse in this incident in Mark 3. Could it really be that he has gone crazy? Is he no better than a ranting street-corner preacher who’s suddenly picked up a near-hysterical following? This isn’t what Mary had imagined when she received the angelic visitor all those years ago! Could this be what the old man Simeon had prophesied when he foretold many wonderful things – but then added the dark, ominous word to Mary: “And a sword will pierce your own soul too” (Luke 2:35). What must Mary have thought about that?

Well, we all experience doubts at different times in our Christian lives – doubt is not a sin, and not (not normally, at any rate) something to be ashamed of. But I don’t think it’s too much of an exaggeration to suggest that Mary experienced something far more: she seems to have suffered a crisis, a collapse, of faith. Is that going too far?

Most of us who have been Christians for any length of time will probably know people who have gone through this. When we first knew them they were radiant in their faith, solid as a rock. But then, perhaps completely out of the blue, a situation arose which plunged them into the depths of despair, and everything was doubt and confusion, rather as with Mary here.

I’m presently reading a book about the Christians who were nicknamed “Puritans”, back in the 1600s. They were renowned for the seriousness and intensity of their faith. They were strict in examining themselves for any hidden sin which might separate them from God. And, contrary to their dour reputation, they were often known for their deep peace and inner joy.

But even these stalwart followers of Christ were not immune to the type of thing Mary seems to have suffered here. “Brother Jones,” someone might record in his diary, “failed to attend worship this Sunday morning, afflicted once again by his melancholy…” They called it melancholy; today it would probably be described as “depression”.

You may have experienced such a thing yourself; indeed, you may be going through it at this moment. If this is the case, the message has to be: If such a special person as Mary – who received angelic visitors, who was used by God as the recipient of an extraordinary miracle, who knew joy almost beyond words – if such a person as her could suffer a collapse of faith, be encouraged!

Remember the end of her story. Watching at the foot of the cross as Jesus died, she was committed by him (at the very point of death!) to the care of the “beloved disciple” (what love was that on Jesus’ part!). And still more: after his resurrection she was numbered among the first believers in the upper room “where they were staying”. Luke, in Acts 1:14, gives us a run-down of the apostles, and then adds, “They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers”.

This time they weren’t pleading with Jesus to stop the preaching and come home. No, they were confidently waiting for him to take them home, where they would be re-united with him and see him face to face.

In various ways Mary had a tough life; but Jesus brought her through. And what he did for her he will do for you and me.

May God help us to hold to him through thick and thin!

Dear Father, please help me to cling to you through the bad times as well as the good, confident that whatever you allow to happen to me will lead to my strengthening, and that the day will come when every sorrow will be banished and every tear wiped away. Amen.