Of tongues and bones (2)

A gentle tongue can break a bone. Proverbs 25:15

 

Last time I suggested ways in which we might make sense of this saying from Proverbs, which on the face of it is slightly puzzling. Two fairly obvious things came to mind: first, that it encourages us to think about the vast range of ways in which we speak or otherwise communicate with other people - above all, making the point that quiet, reasoned words are preferable to loud harangues or angry confrontations; and second, it can alert us to the massive harm done via on line or even phone conversations when we are unable to see the face of the other person.

The basic message was simple: Christian, keep firm control of your tongue, whatever the circumstances! Take seriously the disturbing words of James 3:1-12! Be careful how you use the internet! 

There were a couple of other things that came to mind, both of them very basic, but worth being reminded of, but which I didn’t have space for. So I return to them today.

First, while “a gentle tongue” should be our default mode when communicating with others, we shouldn’t take it as a hard and fast rule for every situation. There are occasions when we may need to use our tongues very firmly indeed, even perhaps raising our voices. I hesitate to say this, having witnessed the horrible spat between Presidents Trump and Zelensky on television the other night, described by some commentators as a slanging-match; but there were times when even Jesus, whose dignified silence before his tormentors I drew attention to, saw fit to shift into distinctly ferocious mode: Matthew 23:13-38, his verbal onslaught on the scribes and Pharisees of his day, doesn’t exactly show him in “gentle tongue” mode, does it!

Someone might say “Yes, but that was Jesus, we’re just, well, us, and we don’t have the same authority.” Quite right, of course. But as long as we are quietly confident that we are in the right, and that our strong words are justified – as long, indeed, that they are spoken in love and humility – such moments may arise. They may be just what’s needed to make somebody sit up and think. But we had better be right…!

Second, it occurred to me that the general drift of verse 25 – that patient perseverance is more effective than loud voices – has a particular application to prayer: isn’t this, as a general rule, how prayers are answered? Certainly, there are times when particular prayers are answered almost immediately, even dramatically, but they are surely the exception rather than the rule? Sometimes, let’s be honest, we may have almost given up praying for a particular matter (we all know, after all, that God’s answer is sometimes “No”) and are taken by surprise  when it is answered pretty much as we had hoped. But this just makes the occasion all the more joyful.

We have a young friend who, some ten years ago, became quite seriously ill. Though her condition wasn’t lethal, it caused her great pain and seriously affected her life. But just quite recently she felt that after a time of focussed prayer she had been healed. I haven’t the slightest doubt that over those ten years she had been prayed for by both her family and her Christian friends on a regular, indeed daily, basis. I’m sure too that there were days when those who prayed for her had little appetite or enthusiasm for prayer but persevered out of a sense of duty (and love, of course) rather than a red-hot faith. Why healing should have been given precisely when it was rather than several years earlier we cannot know; our business is simply to be thankful on her behalf and to trust that the patient perseverance implied in Proverbs 25:15 has borne fruit.

Do you give up easily when it comes to prayer? Here are the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:7-8: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you…” The experts tell us that the original Greek might be better translated, “Ask and go on asking and it will be given to you; seek and go on seeking and you will find; knock and go on knocking and the door will be opened to you…” And the words of the Lord’s Prayer – “Give us today our daily bread” – suggest a prayer to be offered on a regular, routine basis.

How good are we at persevering in prayer? Yes, there are times when it can seem repetitive and mechanical. But the effectiveness of our prayers doesn’t depend on the emotion or warmth with which we come to God – it depends on the love and grace of God, who knows and understands our inmost hearts. Christian, don’t give up!

If, like me, you find it helpful to pray from a list, it’s true that a time may come when you feel it right to remove a name or a topic from that list (though if you’re anything like me that can be a very hard thing to do!). But make sure that’s a serious, Spirit-led decision, not just a giving up or a disillusioned case of not bothering. We may never hear the literal sound of a bone cracking, but we will know the joy of seeing wonderful answers to prayer!

Father, I don’t really begin to understand the mystery of prayer or to fathom the power of the tongue. But I pray that whether by direct spoken words or by some more sophisticated means of communication, you will give me grace to achieve only what is good and wholesome, so bringing your joy, hope and peace into the lives of others. Amen.