"Two are better than one"

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

“It is not good for the man to be alone”.

So spoke God in Genesis 2:18. Up to that point everything God had done he declared to be “good” or “very good”. But suddenly now something is said to be “not good” - that Adam, in the garden, was alone among the animals; that he needed a “helper” or “companion”. And so Eve is brought into being.

A literal story? Or a beautiful legend? It doesn’t matter, only that it conveys a fundamental truth about what it means to be a man or a woman: the story of “humankind” gets under way, for both good and ill.

In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 the Teacher is only referring very indirectly (or very likely not at all) to man and woman in marriage (not, of course, that that final sentence can’t be applied to marriage). His theme is the far wider one of companionship in general: human beings are designed by God to share one another’s company in a wide variety of ways. Indeed, they are designed to need one another’s company, and they are foolish if they neglect this aspect of what it means to be human.

The Teacher takes a number of possible examples.

First, two people sharing work “have a good return for their labour”, which, as long as they remain in harmony (sadly, not something to be taken for granted), can obviously only be good.

Second, “if either of them falls down, one can help the other up”. I can’t help smiling as I read this. One day last summer I set to work to paint the garden shed. The best way to finish off the last part near the ground was to sit comfortably on the grass and splosh away. It worked very well – until, having finished, I encountered a problem: I couldn’t get up, as there was nothing fixed and solid to hold on to. I ended up doing a rather undignified bum-shuffle to the kitchen door, hoping that none of the neighbours happened to be looking out of their upstairs windows, and was then able to grab hold of the handle and heft myself to my feet. (Oh, the joys of growing old!)

Of course, helping others up may not be a physical thing at all; it may also be what is sometimes known as “giving someone a leg up” emotionally or psychologically or financially or even, and not least, spiritually.

Third, two people can act as mutual body-warmers: “if two lie down together, they will keep warm…”. This isn’t as comical as it might sound, in days long before central heating or electric blankets or even the humble hot-water bottle, especially if you were travelling at night, when it could be bitterly cold. This application has, of course, nothing to do with sex, and I am sure we can all think of many ways in which we can warm the heart of another person: a simple smile of greeting might be enough to do it.

Fourth, two people can offer one another mutual protection: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves”. In ancient Israel the roads could be very dangerous, with brigands lurking behind every corner; and in such a situation “two is definitely better than one”.

However we may extend the applications of this little passage – and one could easily carry on indefinitely – the basic meaning is clear: we need other people, and they need us: I need you, and you (believe it or not) need me. You may be, like me, “a bit of a loner”, but it is utter folly for any of us to think that we can “go it alone”.

Some people are fairly content with their own company. That’s fair enough, and we should respect them. But let them not blind themselves to the realities, sometimes harsh, of this earthly life. Others virtually crave human contact and may even need to take themselves in hand and develop a little personal independence.

The balance between the two needs is nicely caught by Paul in Galatians 6. On the one hand, we are to “carry each other’s burdens” (verse 2), on the other hand to “carry our own load” (verse 5). Is Paul contradicting himself? No, just looking at the reality of human life, including Christian life.

I can only finish by encouraging us all to examine our own personalities and natures to see where we may be lacking; and to ask ourselves, in all seriousness, “What am I doing about it?” Is it time for a change in priorities?

And another question: Do I have an eye for the lonely people? The newcomer down the road? The widowed person? The sick or elderly person who has been a church member for decades but is now unable to get to church, and for whom no one seems to be responsible? There is nothing wrong, nothing inferior, with the single life, but what about the person who sorely misses the companionship of a husband or wife?

Our ultimate companion, of course, is Jesus himself. We can take comfort from his wonderful words, “surely I am with you always”. But until that day comes when we see him face to face, and every tear is wiped from our eyes, let’s not overlook the words of the wise Teacher in Ecclesiastes 4. As human beings, we need one another. As brothers and sisters in Christ, I need you and you need me! May God himself help us to get a firm hold of that truth!

Father, thank you that through Jesus you have brought me into a whole family of brothers and sisters. Please help me not to neglect them, either for how I can help them, or for how I need them. And, in this sad and troubled world, help me not to limit my  love and care only to those who are followers of Jesus. Amen.