Nice? or Nasty? or Neither?

Jesus said, “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children…” Matthew 7:11

Jesus said, “Out of the heart come evil thoughts – murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a man… Matthew 15:19-20

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. 1 Timothy 1:15

There is no-one righteous, not even one… Romans 3:10

Do you like yourself? Do you think of yourself as a good person?

How’s that for a direct question?

In answer we might very well say, “Well, I wouldn’t claim to be perfect, of course! But I’d like to think I am at least no worse than the next person. I live a pretty honest life, I don’t cheat or lie or break the law, and if anybody needs a hand, well, I try to be there for them…”

This self-assessment may indeed be fairly accurate. But we need to recognise that many of us are fortunate to live in circumstances where life is relatively comfortable, if not always exactly easy: we have food and drink every day; we have medical care which, however stretched, is something really rather wonderful; we have received an adequate education, and possibly far better; we perhaps have a pretty good job, a good family life, and leisure pursuits which ease many of life’s pressures.

Let’s be honest, it’s relatively easy to live a civilised kind of life, to be polite and courteous, under such circumstances. Perhaps it’s not so much that we’re “good” people as that we’re “good-at-being-respectable” people, even good, putting it bluntly, at playing a part.

Whatever… I’ve drawn together three of the New Testament verses at the top which give us a rather different angle on the whole question. Do we have any cause for self-satisfaction?

First, in what seems almost like a throwaway remark Jesus casually assumes that his hearers are “evil”, a word that could be translated as “wicked”, or just plain “bad” (Matthew 7:11). It’s striking that this is in spite of the fact that, he says, they “know how to give good gifts to your children”; Jesus doesn’t question that the gifts they give are indeed “good”, but is obviously of the opinion that that fact doesn’t make them good as people. No, they are “evil”!

Second, there’s Paul, writing to his protégé Timothy (1Timothy 1:15). His main point is the basic and wonderful truth that “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”, but then (quite unnecessarily, we might think) he adds a little rider: “of whom I am the worst”.

We might say “Ah yes, but that’s Paul talking, Paul who has already described himself as ‘a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man’, so it’s understandable that he should feel that way. He’s getting a backlog of guilt out of his system, and an element of exaggeration is to be expected”.

Third, though that may be true, we need only to turn to such ferocious passages as Romans 3:10-18 to see that it isn’t just him he’s thinking about; no, he regards the whole human race as falling under the same condemnation. No doubt there is an element of hyperbole (literary exaggeration) in such passages, but they strike home with uncomfortable force nonetheless.

What triggered these rather gloomy thoughts in me was a comment I read somewhere in C S Lewis (sorry, I can’t now remember where). As I remember, he was talking about our natural human tendency to think better of ourselves than we should: the “I’m not such a bad person really”… syndrome. And he said something along the lines: “Well, in fact, if I look inside myself with complete, ruthless honesty, if I gaze mercilessly into the murky depths of my own soul, I find it hard not to come to the conclusion that in stark reality I am really not a very nice person at all; that in fact I am really rather nasty…”

I think it was that ugly word “nasty” that caused his comment to lodge in my mind. I found myself thinking, “Yes, indeed! He’s absolutely right, of course. If I think highly of myself I am in fact just fooling myself”.

I started with a sharply personal question: Do you like yourself? Do you think of yourself as a good person?

Let me finish with another one. When did you last do what Lewis found himself doing, and look with ruthless honesty into the depths of your own soul? And if/when you did, what did you find there? Total honesty? Deep humility? Kindness? Love? Compassion? All those beautiful qualities we find listed in 1 Corinthians 13?

Or pride? jealousy? spite? vengefulness? anger? hatred? lust? laziness? All those ugly characteristics that we find listed in Matthew 15:19-20 or Galatians 5:19-21?

What Jesus calls us to is not mere niceness. Oh no! – that’s nothing to a reasonably good actor. That’s not the point. What Jesus calls us to is nothing less than holiness, which means partaking of the very character of God himself, carrying around in our everyday lives the very aroma of heaven.

Yes, let’s be respectable, of course, in the sense of “truly worthy of respect” in the eyes of others. But let’s not fool ourselves into thinking that we can deceive the one true and holy God, the one who loves us deeply - and the one who knows our very hearts (1 Samul 16:7).

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Wash away all my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. Amen.

Here’s a little poem by that strange man William Blake (1757-1827), who wrote “Jerusalem” and “Tyger, tyger…”. I’m not sure I fully understand what he’s saying, but it seemed to chime in with the C S Lewis quote: if nothing else, it’s about that deep, inner nastiness. Whatever, I invite you to see what you make of it.

A Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend; 

I told my wrath, my wrath did end.

I was angry with my foe: 

I told it not, my wrath did grow. 

 

And I watered it in fears,

Night & morning with my tears: 

And I sunned it with smiles,

And with soft deceitful wiles. 

 

And it grew both day and night. 

Till it bore an apple bright. 

And my foe beheld it shine,

And he knew that it was mine. 

 

And into my garden stole, 

When the night had veiled the pole; 

In the morning glad I see; 

My foe outstretched beneath the tree.