Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3
“Speaking without thinking is like shooting without
aiming”. Nicely put, that, don’t you think?
I think the psalmist in Psalm 141 would agree. True, at the
start of his psalm he is thinking especially of the use of the tongue in prayer
and worship. And he then goes on to reflect on how words can be used for
serious evil, for “wicked deeds” (verse 4).
But I’m sure he would agree that the need to have “a guard
over our mouths” applies in all sorts of routine, everyday situations. I read
an article once where some university professor had calculated how many words,
on average, each of us might utter every day. I can’t remember now what the
figure was – but it was pretty alarming.
James the brother of Jesus has a whole range of comparisons
for the tongue (James 3:1-12). It’s like the tiny spark that sets off a forest
fire; it’s like poison coursing through the body – that’s just two of them. (On
the plus side Proverbs 15:3 tells us rather beautifully that “a gentle answer
turns away wrath”. How we need that reminder these days when so many of us are
on a hair-trigger, just waiting for an excuse to get angry or offended.)
All of which makes it plain that there is never a bad day
to take to heart afresh the words of Psalm 141:3. Like today.
The sheer power of words is illustrated by an experience of
my own. I still remember a teacher in my primary school days telling us:
“Before you say anything, ask yourself three questions: Is it true? Is
it kind? Is it necessary?” That was said by that woman when I was
quite a small boy; but those words remain alive in my mind to this day. I think
they sum up this whole topic pretty well…
Is it true?
Yes, that must come first, of course. If we as Christians
are anything, we are people of the truth, for do we not follow the one who said
“I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6)?
Sometimes it seems that lies are simply everywhere. In
surveys people are quite happy to admit that they routinely lie if it suits
their interests. Yet they also say they have little respect for politicians
precisely because they don’t think politicians are honest. We instinctively
doubt much of what we read in the papers; and as for what gets put on social
media, well, no wonder we develop a thick coating of cynicism.
Christians or not, we are easily sucked into this
mentality. “Bare-faced” lying? - perhaps not. But dishonesty can take many
forms, and it’s possible to lie without even realising we’re doing it.
Is it kind?
Words, even true words, can be deeply wounding. Just as I
have never forgotten the wise words spoken by that teacher, so I’m sure all of
us can think of times we have been cut to the quick by someone’s hurtful
remark: a criticism or putdown or jokey comment. Especially if the person on
the receiving end is lacking in confidence and self-esteem, it’s no
exaggeration to say that an unkind remark can scar them for life.
Can any of us plead not guilty to this?
Is it necessary?
I can think of many occasions in my life when somebody
could very well have dredged up an incident that would have caused me
embarrassment – but kindly chose not to do so. How grateful I have been!
And what about saying things about somebody in their
absence – in a word, gossip? How necessary is that?
Gossip very often fails all three of my teacher’s tests:
truth, kindness and necessity. It’s an easy resort for the trouble-maker,
bringing a nasty pleasure to both the speaker and the listener: “The words of a
gossip are like choice morsels, they go down to the inmost parts” (Proverbs
18:8).
It’s even possible to gossip under the guise of prayer, pretending
sanctimoniously to feel loving concern – “Lord, please help Jack at this very
difficult time in his life” – so that everybody in the group is immediately
thinking “Hmm, I wonder what Jack’s problem is?”
Any of us reading this who have a weakness with gossip
would do well to remember the wise saying: “Never forget – the person who
gossips to you today will very likely be gossiping about you
tomorrow”.
I could multiply examples of bad uses of the tongue – but it’s
up to each of us to think about the areas where we fall short. But to finish with
a prayer I suggest a fresh translation of Psalm 141:3…
Loving Father, please help me to know when to
keep my big mouth shut. Amen.
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