Who needs friends?

Paul came to Derbe and then to Lystra, where a disciple named Timothy lived, whose mother was Jewish and a believer but whose father was a Greek. The believers at Lystra and Iconium spoke well of him. Paul wanted to take him along on the journey, so he circumcised him because of the Jews who lived in that area, for they all knew that his father was a Greek. Acts 16:1-3

I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you. I have no one else like him, who will show genuine concern for your welfare. For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.  Philippians 2:19-22

Do you remember meeting for the first time someone who became a best friend? – perhaps even your husband or wife? They were a total stranger to you; you didn’t, as we sometimes say, know them from Adam. And now you look at them, perhaps ten, twenty, thirty, even fifty years on, and smile to think how somehow they became as intimate a part of your life as a favourite old jumper. How did that happen? you ask yourself. Well, never mind how! It just did.

The scholars reckon that the apostle Paul first set eyes on Timothy about 49AD, roughly twenty years after the resurrection of Jesus. We get the impression from Acts 16 that from the moment he first set eyes on him in the town of Lystra Paul saw his qualities and potential and so “wanted to take him along” on the missionary journey he and Barnabas were engaged on. Which he did. Timothy became part of his team.

The scholars can’t fully agree when Paul wrote his letter to the church in Philippi, including this reference to Timothy, but it would have been around ten years later, give or take a few. It would be hard to imagine Paul using more glowing terms to describe him: “… I have no one else like him… will show genuine concern for your welfare… has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel…”

That impression of deep respect and admiration is confirmed by the two letters Paul wrote to Timothy, and which we find a little later in the Bible. Timothy became like a loved son to Paul, and all in relatively little time.

So? Well, Paul is sometimes portrayed as an austere, even severe man. But there are many places in Acts and the letters which make it clear that he was capable of deep and strong affection. We never read of him having a wife and family (though we do read about a sister and a nephew), which may have been why his colleagues, young and not so young, became specially important to him: think of Barnabas, Silas, Epaphroditus, Titus, Epaphras, Aristarchus, Philemon, Apollos, Priscilla and Aquila (enough to be going on with?).

Paul needed people, friends, as do you and I. And while people who are not fellow-Christians may be friends whom we cherish (indeed, there is something wrong with us if we don’t have friends outside of Christ), it’s inevitable that our brothers and sisters in Christ are particularly special to us.

It's worth noticing that these rich friendships weren’t formed just by having cups of tea together or sitting around discussing the latest news (not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that), but by working together. The deepest, strongest bonds grow up between Christians when they serve and pray together.

Paul wasn’t ashamed to ask for help, and to seek the prayers of his friends. He knew well his own weaknesses, and his dependence on others and, if I may be blunt, we are fools if we fail to do the same.

Why not pause for a moment to call to mind those many people who have been true friends to you? There was a time when, yes, you didn’t know them from Adam; but now they are part of the very fabric of your life. You couldn’t begin to calculate the extent to which they have enriched you. And, thinking about them, be thankful to God.

Here are lines from two songs, one dating back over two hundred years, one about forty years old. Perfect for turning into meditation and prayer…

Blest be the tie that binds/ Our hearts in Christian love;/ The fellowship of kindred minds/ Is like to that above.

We share our mutual woes,/ Our mutual burdens bear,/ And often for each other flows/ The sympathizing tear. (John Fawcett, 1740-1817)

And this:

Brother, sister, let me serve you,/ Let me be as Christ to you;/ Pray that I may have the grace/ To let you be my servant, too.

We are pilgrims on a journey,/ We’re together on the road;/ We are here to help each other/ Walk the mile and share the load.

I will hold the Christ-light for you/ In the night time of your fear;/ I will hold my hand out to you,/ Speak the peace you long to hear.

I will weep when you are weeping,/ When you laugh I’ll laugh with you;/ I will share your joy and sorrow/ Till we’ve seen this journey through. Richard Gillard (1977).

Beautiful! And let’s never forget the beautiful words of Jesus to his disciples: I have called you friends.

Who needs friends? You do. And I do.

Father, help me to accept the friendship of others with gratitude and humility, and to be, myself, a true friend to others and to hold the Christ-light for them. Amen.