How bad is bad language?

But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Colossians 3:8

Not long ago I received a Facebook message from a Christian friend which included “the f word”. I’m not sure if my friend had written the message himself, or was forwarding one which he himself had received. But there it was, and it troubled me.

Was I right to be troubled? After all, we live at a time when conventions of speech have changed enormously from, say, twenty-five years ago. Rock singers, sports stars, actors - well, yes, that’s to be expected now. But it’s also the politicians and journalists, and for all I know the doctors and teachers, who are happy to use language once considered “unacceptable” or “offensive”.

What should we as Christians think about this trend?

For one thing, we need to recognise that, like fashions in clothes, language changes; and also that what’s offensive to one person may be fine by somebody else.

Way back in the 1970s, when I was still a young minister, we once had a bit of a crisis. A Sunday School teacher, annoyed with a small girl who kept “jiffling about”, asked her to sit still. She protested, pointing to the boy next to her, “But he keeps pinching my bum.” The teacher, who you might describe as white, male, well-educated and middle-class, reprimanded her: “We don’t use language like that!”

Next thing we knew we had a stormy visit from the girl’s mother (not, I might say, either a particularly small or a particularly quiet woman), all jutting elbows and nostrils shooting flames: “What’s this about bum? What’s wrong with bum? We say bum all the time in our house...” (Oh dear: it was a time for deep breaths and calming words all round...)

I remember too the day I came across a poem by John Clare, who lived from 1793 to 1864 - right in the middle of that outwardly very strict and proper period known as “Victorian”. Describing affectionately the hardships of a young mother going about her household duties, Clare wrote of “when the baby’s all beshit”.

I was shocked; that certainly wasn’t an acceptable word in polite society! But I learned something important. Obviously in Clare’s day, and in the social climate in which he moved (Clare was the son of a farm labourer, not to mention a loyal member of the Church of England), the word “shit” was normal.

I can’t resist another story. Way back, again, in those early days of my ministry, we at the Baptist Church used to have occasional joint meetings with our Pentecostal neighbours after the Sunday evening service. There was good fellowship and sometimes quite (ahem) “lively” discussion. One evening a recently-baptised member of our church used the word “bloody”. There was a barely suppressed gasp of horror (mainly, I think, from our Penty friends) and then everyone studiously turned a deaf ear.

It later occurred to me that those people who gasped with horror might have uttered a cry of praise if they had any idea how that woman was likely to have spoken six months earlier, before she became a Christian: “bloody” represented progress!

These examples are, of course, very mild compared to some of the things we hear today. And we need to be careful of hypocrisy - which is better, a person who is known to swear a bit, but who is a genuine Christian, honest, kind, compassionate and loving; or a person who outwardly is a pillar of virtue, but who is a bully, not always strictly honest, and ill-tempered?

Well, each of us must make up our own minds when it comes to deciding what is and what isn’t acceptable. But let’s do so in a prayerful spirit - and with Paul’s words to the Colossian Christians in mind. He itemises two things in particular in the matter of speech, translated by the NIV as “slander and filthy language” (that could equally be “blasphemies and obscenities”). Those words cover a lot!

According to Jesus, we are called to be “perfect” (Matthew 5:48). Only the best is good enough for him. That applies to our deeds and our thoughts - and also to our words. And if we’re in any doubt, let’s remember the time-honoured guideline: if we must err, let’s do so on the side of strictness, not of slackness.

Added to which... what a wonderful opportunity for witness to be the one person around who keeps a pure and wholesome tongue in the midst of rising coarseness, vulgarity, obscenity and blasphemy. Not, of course, in a self-righteous manner; we don’t advertise it.

But I think it will make us stand out, don’t you?

Father, I pray in the words of the psalmist: “Set a guard over my mouth... keep watch over the door of my lips”. Help me too to remember that “Blessed are the pure in heart”. Amen.